Before Baby Comes: The Conversation Every Couple Deserves to Have About Postpartum Support. Birth Partner Support.
- xercessoulhealing
- Mar 27
- 3 min read
There’s a moment during pregnancy—usually somewhere in the third trimester—when the focus shifts.
The nursery is coming together. The baby shower has passed. The birth plan is nearly finalized.
And yet, one of the most important parts of this transition into parenthood is still often left untouched:
What will life feel like after the baby arrives?
Not just the sweet moments of newborn cuddles, but the tender truth of who you’ll both be—exhausted, stretched, deeply in love, but also navigating unfamiliar waters.
Most couples don’t have this conversation until they’re in the thick of it.
When emotions are high.
When sleep is scarce.
When unspoken expectations begin to bubble into resentment.
But what if we prepared for postpartum together—just like we prepare for birth?
The Unspoken Gap (In Birth Partner Support)
I’ve worked with so many women who feel blindsided after birth.Not because they weren’t strong enough.Not because they didn’t love their baby.
But because no one told them how much they’d still need to be cared for.
The truth is—postpartum is a sacred window. One that demands rest, support, and clear communication between you and your partner.
And yet most partners walk into this chapter without a map. And most women walk into it hoping he’ll just know what she needs.
But this is where birth partner support can shift everything.
Why This Conversation Matters (And What It Needs to Include)
Research shows that when mothers feel emotionally and physically supported after birth, they are less likely to experience postpartum depression or anxiety. Support directly impacts maternal well-being, breastfeeding outcomes, and even bonding with baby (NIH, 2021).
And emotional well-being isn’t just about rest—it’s about not feeling alone in the responsibility.
Here are just a few essential things to talk about before your baby arrives:
1. What does “rest” really mean?
This doesn’t mean catching a 20-minute nap while the dishwasher runs.True rest requires planning—someone to cook, clean, hold baby so you can shower or sleep.Partners often underestimate the amount of support needed for her to actually rest.
Ask each other: What needs to be in place for both of us to rest? What will that look like in the first two weeks?
2. What does he expect postpartum to feel like?
Many partners imagine things “calming down” once baby arrives. But in truth, they’re just beginning.This doesn’t mean chaos—it means an entirely new rhythm that requires both presence and patience.
Explore: What are each of your expectations for the first month? Where are they aligned? Where are they different?
3. Who will hold the home?
The laundry. The meals. The appointments.All of these things still need tending—and it cannot fall back on the mother’s shoulders.
This is where preparing together becomes a form of love.Creating a realistic postpartum care plan—shared responsibilities, outside help, or meal support—can be the difference between burnout and bonding.
Reflect on: What are 3 tasks we can delegate or prepare in advance?
This Is Why I Bring Partners Into the Process
In my Sacred Birth Doula Support + Mentorship, I don’t just work with the mother—I invite her partner into our trimester check-in call.
Because this moment isn’t just about birth. It’s about preparing the relationship for the intensity and intimacy of becoming parents.
We talk about:
What she’ll need emotionally, physically, and spiritually
How he can support her while also caring for himself
What their postpartum vision really looks like
How to communicate with love, even when sleep-deprived
And how to protect their connection as the foundation for this new chapter
I believe preparing for postpartum is one of the most loving things a couple can do.Not because it prevents all challenges—but because it creates a shared foundation.
If You’re Pregnant Right Now…
Take this post as your invitation.
To pause.
To reflect.
To open the conversation before the baby arrives.
And if you know you want guidance—someone who can hold both of you through this sacred season—I’d love to walk with you.
My 1:1 Sacred Birth Doula Support + Mentorship is for the woman who desires an emotionally connected pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.We weave together somatic tools, sacred preparation, and supportive guidance—for both mother and partner.
Because you’re not just giving birth to a baby. You’re becoming a family.And that deserves care, clarity, and conscious support.
[Click here to learn more about working with me.] Or message me directly if you’d like to talk about what this journey could look like for you.
Comments