The Darkness of Relationships

Hear me out, because this is a long one …

I’ve been thinking about relationships and healing and there’s so many layers to it

I see how our culture depicts that relationships are only meant to give you what you want and if it’s not aligned, keep it moving

This is such a toxic toxic mindset to have

Life is darkness and light

People are both darkness and light

100% of us carry trauma and pain from past experiences into most of our relationships, so when we have this toxic positive culture around people, behaviors, the way we feel, etc it doesn’t allow for genuine growth and connection

It doesn’t allow for people to work together through obstacles and challenges

(This is NOT a post referring to abuse)

But let’s break it down like this

No one is perfect

Going into a relationship believing that you won’t be triggered or have challenges is absolute ignorance

The thing about challenges and disagreements if handled HEALTHILY, they can show you and your partner where you both need to work on yourself or change perspectives depending on where you are in your life

What you enjoyed one year or one month doesn’t mean that will be the case your whole life and the same for your partner

We won’t always handle situations perfectly because we are human and we learn new things about ourselves daily (if you allow room for that)

So with that said, if you’re on a journey back to wholeness, peeling the layers of shedding light on your darkness and healing, then guess what … you’re desiring to be SEEN, to be HEARD, to be APPRECIATED and ACCEPTED for all of you

AND SO IS YOUR PARTNER

For most humans, we learn from our mistakes even when they hurt someone

When you’re on a healing path, you’re OPEN to apologies, you’re OPEN to one another making numerous mistakes

You also, have the awareness of what type of healthy boundaries need to be created to maintain authentic relationships (and boundaries come from a place of love, not trying to keep yourself from being hurt, but to help you remain authentic and truthful to yourself and others)

So with that being said …

When you’re on a genuine healing path

You understand life has ebbs and flows just like relationships

You understand that being human means making mistakes

You also understand that you’re not always going to be in your light, and your darkness deserves love and compassion just like your partners

When you really get into the healing, you recognize that your partners behaviors are 100% a reflection of themselves and how they interpret their reality and experience and the ONLY thing you have control over is how you receive their behavior and how you choose to show up in response to your experience

Either way, when you’re healing, you’re less likely to only want “the light” from everything

When you’re healing and releasing you’re willing to be loved by a flawed conscious being who’s willing to make mistakes and grow from them just like you

Life IS work

Period

Just like yourself, so are others around you

Real healing is taking full responsibility for your own well being and nurturing the darkness with kindness and understanding