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The Darkness of Relationships


Hear me out, because this is a long one …


I’ve been thinking about relationships and healing and there’s so many layers to it


I see how our culture depicts that relationships are only meant to give you what you want and if it’s not aligned, keep it moving


This is such a toxic toxic mindset to have

Life is darkness and light

People are both darkness and light


100% of us carry trauma and pain from past experiences into most of our relationships, so when we have this toxic positive culture around people, behaviors, the way we feel, etc it doesn’t allow for genuine growth and connection

It doesn’t allow for people to work together through obstacles and challenges

(This is NOT a post referring to abuse)

But let’s break it down like this

No one is perfect

Going into a relationship believing that you won’t be triggered or have challenges is absolute ignorance


The thing about challenges and disagreements if handled HEALTHILY, they can show you and your partner where you both need to work on yourself or change perspectives depending on where you are in your life

What you enjoyed one year or one month doesn’t mean that will be the case your whole life and the same for your partner

We won’t always handle situations perfectly because we are human and we learn new things about ourselves daily (if you allow room for that)

So with that said, if you’re on a journey back to wholeness, peeling the layers of shedding light on your darkness and healing, then guess what … you’re desiring to be SEEN, to be HEARD, to be APPRECIATED and ACCEPTED for all of you

AND SO IS YOUR PARTNER

For most humans, we learn from our mistakes even when they hurt someone

When you’re on a healing path, you’re OPEN to apologies, you’re OPEN to one another making numerous mistakes


You also, have the awareness of what type of healthy boundaries need to be created to maintain authentic relationships (and boundaries come from a place of love, not trying to keep yourself from being hurt, but to help you remain authentic and truthful to yourself and others)


So with that being said …

When you’re on a genuine healing path

You understand life has ebbs and flows just like relationships

You understand that being human means making mistakes


You also understand that you’re not always going to be in your light, and your darkness deserves love and compassion just like your partners


When you really get into the healing, you recognize that your partners behaviors are 100% a reflection of themselves and how they interpret their reality and experience and the ONLY thing you have control over is how you receive their behavior and how you choose to show up in response to your experience

Either way, when you’re healing, you’re less likely to only want “the light” from everything

When you’re healing and releasing you’re willing to be loved by a flawed conscious being who’s willing to make mistakes and grow from them just like you


Life IS work

Period

Just like yourself, so are others around you


Real healing is taking full responsibility for your own well being and nurturing the darkness with kindness and understanding

 
 
 

Kommentare


About Xerces (Air-sis)

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I’m Xerces – Your Guide to Sacred Motherhood.

Pregnancy and motherhood are sacred journeys meant to be embodied and cherished. I help mothers preparing for VBAC or unmedicated birth reconnect with their emotions and bodies, cultivating empowerment, trust, and alignment through emotional and somatic embodiment. 

As a certified birth doula with expertise in somatic practices and emotional health, I guide you to trust your body’s wisdom and create a meaningful, connected foundation for your family. Together, we’ll turn overwhelm into ease and transform this season into one of growth, peace, and joy.

A little about me:

  • I’m passionate about creating accessible tools and programs that nurture emotional and physical connection during pregnancy and motherhood.

  • Outside of my work, I love spending time on my farm with my husband and daughter, exploring nature, and finding new ways to deepen our family’s connection.

 

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear about your vision for your pregnancy, birth, and motherhood.

 

Let’s make your journey sacred, empowering, and uniquely yours.

Ready to Work Together!

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